like a cat chasing the laser pointer we can talk about whatever people chase

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Ever heard of Imago?

Imago is a form of therapy for couples that includes the idea that each spouse is looking for someone who triggers their childhood wounds. Perhaps not consciously, but still looking for that pattern. Marriage counseling that uses this method will help the couple identify triggers and patterns related to each partner’s childhood.

Having been a participant of this type of therapy for about a year I can say that is has been eye opening at times and frustrating as hell at others.

What I like is that no matter what is happening in your marriage, if you can truly get to the patterns and understand what you are triggered by, this will help you grow as a person. Another idea in Imago is that if you don’t find this out, you will repeat the same patterns with someone else. So, the way I look at it is, even if my marriage doesn’t survive I can do my best to try to understand myself and what I react to. That way marriage or no marriage I’m hopefully better off having been through it.

I found this book funny and helpful to read. Admittedly, it’s a simplistic view of marriage. For me that’s what made it easy to incorporate and easy to get my spouse (who is not a reader) to actually finish it.  Making Marriage Simple